Hop on tires in back of Adult Education Center to roof. On building behind Adult Education Center, climb latter then pole to roof, jump down to awning. Use dumpster to get to roof of Sequel Stop, hop to roof behind it.
Hop onto roof of Grocery store across from mall. Homer-ball dash into car in back of church. Behind garbage can next to dumpster by church. Use helium inside church to get to over hang. Homer-ball dash into pink car behind school. In front of Paradise Pier, by green building. From last, hop over fence on right, break boxes. From last, hop on roof with Lisa, use Hand of Buda to move box to canopy above door, jump to roof.
From last, hop down to back of building, break boxes. In back of Springfield Retirement Castle. In back of yellow home with blue shutters next to home with last seal. Behind tree on grass next to billboard beside light purple home. Jump to roof of home directly across street from Krusty Burger, in chimney. By back door of Krusty Burger. Behind counter in Krusty Burger. Next door to Krusty Burger, by dumpster.
Use Hand of Buda to move car behind Planet Hype. Behind town hall. Use dumpster to roof of Kwik-E-Mart. Inside Kwik-E-Mart. Use Hand of Buda to move air conditioner into place in window, use Marge to build platform to AC jump to awning. In front of Sleep Eazy Motel sign. In back of Sleep Eazy Motel, under awning. Behind Springfield Museum of Natural History sign. Use Hand of Buda to move car on side of Springfield Museum. In corner, next to bush, by statue of Jebediah Springfield. Inside police station, in cell, push red button.
Behind police station. By street light across street from police station. Under archway, by pawn sign not far from police station. Passing through archway from pawn sign, by corner with pink bricks. Use Hand of Buda to move boxes. Staying on roof tops after last seal, make your way to low roof with Maggie vent. Street level from last seal, on stairs. On the beach by a palm tree behind Duff Brewery. Across street in corner across from Duff Brewery.
In the parking lot of Duff Brewery by a pink car. Climb three poles to an awning on side of Duff Brewery. From last, drop down by wooden ramp. Smash boxes in front of Duff Brewery, use Hand of Buda to place cap over flame, move platform and make your way to the roof.
Behind metal box blowing gust Bart could use on side of Duff Brewery In parking lot behind building in front of Duff. On corner by underpass in front of purple apartments. Passing through underpass, use Homer to break wooden wall. Going up ramps to top of underground parking lot from last seal, on other side of yellow barrier pole. Break box on top level of parking lot. From last, jump atop step-like wall surrounding parking lot. Jump on dumpster to roof of Sequel Stop.
Close by Sequel Stop, climb ladder to ledge. From last, climb pole to roof. Break boxes on side of Turn Your Head and Coif.
In parking lot of grocery store across from church. Jump over grey brick wall in parking lot of grocery store. Use Homer to break pavement on crack behind grocery store. Jump on dumpster to low roof of church. In corner behind school. On beach by rocks at paradise pier. Use Hand of Buda at pier to move box, jump on canopy to roof. Behind generator by elevator used in Mob Rules. Across from last seal, in alcove. Behind Springfield Retirement Castle.
Build platform on side of Retirement Castle to roof of it. Break billboard close by last. Use Maggie in vent-upper level, over wall behind grocery store. Use Maggie in vent-lower level, over wall behind grocery store. On top of grocery store. On low roof of church. Use vent on low roof of church. In church, by alter. In between trees on divider between church and school. On low roof of school. Use vent inside school to Skinners office.
Clean garbage pile behind court house next to school. On top of BS bank behind court house. Use vent on top of KBBL radio.
Crawl through vent on top of Planet Hypes roof. In same vent on Planet Hypes roof. In front of Planet Hype. Build platform to roof of Barneys Bowlarama, walk out on blue metal. In vent on top of town hall. In same vent on top of town hall. Use Lisa atop town hall roof to move box, on top of dome.
Inside mayors office in town hall. On roof of Kwik-E-Mart. In vent on top of Kwik-E-Mart, turn of air in vent. In same vent on top of Kwik-E-Mart. Inside Kwik-E-Mart, by cooler. By the doors of the Aztec Theatre. Behind pink apartment building behind Kwik-E-Mart.
In vent on roof of pink apartment. Clean garbage on side of Sleep Eazy Motel. In back of Sleep Eazy. Second floor of Sleep Eazy. On awning on side of museum by Hand of Buda shrine. By blue tank on side of Duff Brewery. In alcove in back of Duff Brewery. Use vent on Duff Brewery roof. On roof of A Touch of Glass. In parking lot of building with pink trim across from Duff Brewery.
Homer-ball dash into yellow car in underground parking lot. On top level of parking lot behind trash can. Jump on tires to top of street light in parking lot. Go straight from last to next roof with fence on top. Shimmy on ledge of pink building behind last.
Clean garbage pile a few roofs over from last. Break through boxes under building from last coupon. Use Bart to break lock on door across from last. Use Lisa to move boxes and get to roof of building in front of last coupon, make your way to low roof of building next to building with 3 Grand Theft Scratchy ads hanging, use vent.
On roof of lime green building close by last. On top of metal box on side of building close by last, street level. By crack in wall on side of police station. On low roof of Sequel Stop. Hop on tires to roof of building close by last. Use vent on roof with last coupon. In same vent as last. Build platform to roof of Turn Your Head and Coif. Clean statue of Jebediah Springfield.
Grapple to roof of Springfield Retirement Castle. Use Homer to break fire hydrant, ride gust to top of Krusty Burger sign. On roof of Krusty Burger. Inside Krusty Burger behind register, jump up from counter.
Make your way to roof of house across from Krusty Burger, glide to tree top close by. Behind trees close by last. By back door of home across from Retirement Castle. In street between purple house and orange house with blue trim. Behind orange house with blue trim. Grapple to roof of orange house, use grapple wire from there to church. On roof of church. In parking lot behind church. Inside church, grapple to light hanging from ceiling.
Use Homer to dash into pink car on side of grocery store across from church. Glide on gust on grocery stores roof to get to top of its sign. On grass ledge behind school. Use Homer to break pavement in parking lot behind school. Hop on dumpster to low roof of school, glide on gust to high roof. Glide from tree top to tree top on side of BS bank, close by school. Inside comic shop. Behind Planet Hype. On roof of Planet Hype. From roof of Planet Hype, use wire to roof of court house.
Climb pole on top of court house. By the arcade machines inside Kwik-E-Mart. By dumpster behind Kwik-E-Mart. From roof of Kwik-E-Mart glide on gust on side of Aztec theatre. From roof of Aztec jump down to awning by front door. Grapple to roof of Sleep Eazy Motel. Jump, glide then grapple to roof of pink apartment. From roof of pink apartment glide to tree top by bridge.
In corner on roof of Sleep Eazy. Glide from museum roof to top of street light. Go inside the newly-unlocked room and take Homer's bottlecap. Sorry, your precious game doesn't go on forever. Where have those been before?
Oh right, everywhere. By any other name, an extra life. As original as sand, snow, water, and jungle. The cheese I smell is pungent. Before going down, turn to your right to see what appears to be a white coffin. Way to rip off the clown car. As seen in everything. What next, an underwater plane? Steal from Dungeons and Dragons -- for only the millionth time! What a gyp! Sounds delightful! Nothing I hope! BART: Well it says here that we need to find Homer pushes Bart off the couch and moves to the computer.
I want to play solitare! Homer opens the CD drive and puts his beer on the tray, then it closes, spilling the beer. The computer sends sparks flying and the family is sucked in to the computer.
The aliens are still on their rampage. LISA: We're in the game engine - if our life is a video game, this is where it was made.
He wiggles is legs and falls] Ahhhhhhh! I'm a video game guy. If this is a video game, where do I put the quarters? A floating platform rises with Will Wright standing on it. The Sims 2 diamond is on the bottom of said platform. WILL: That's right, the nerdiest nerd in the computerverse! It's faliure drove me mad, MAD! That's why I live here now, finding a home for old games nobody plays anymore.
A big line up of game cartriges labelled Escape From Krusty Island are being burned in an incinerator one by one. WILL: Video games are about what's new, and the old is better off forgotten.
Any of these fellows look familiar to you? He pushes a button on a remote, the movement stops on the chain and one of the cartriges opens up to reveal 8-Bit versions of Homer, Bart, Lisa and Marge. We look so pixely! BART: And poorly rendered. LISA: Don't destroy them - they may be obselete, but they're still alive! WILL: This isn't right! Who put you up to this? Was it those jerks at EA? They hate me you know! HOMER: Wow, this is like those places where people used to see movies before video piracy was invented!
Marge and Lisa exit the elevator too. I had to do so many doulbe jumps! I'm really tired. Homer aproaches him. D'you want one? When Homer eats it, he make s loud chomping sound and beeps slightly. You're alright, old weird version of me! We've been around this complex a long time and bring a warning.
Just because every video game up until now has been destroyed and forgotten doesn't mean ours will be. LISA: Bart, she's right. I mean I'm right. We're both right! No video game is safe from an industry that's always chasing the hot new thing!
No one will want to play us then! Video game making nerds are getting rich and all I can do is die and die and die and die, each death more painful than the last! We're just highly rendered pixels in a universe we can't control! Even as we speak, Springfield is being destroyed by an hackneyed alien invasion premise!
Oh, somehow it's not a cliche when it's happening to you. BART: Yeah! We don't even know whose but to kick! Maybe he can end this pointless cycle of destruction!
BART: The creator, eh? I'm gonna triple combo punch his fat nerdy face! You still say that, right? I hope so. The only way to get through the gates is to go in to each of the new Simpsons games being developed by the creator. Once you're inside each game, you need to find a key card! Only the four key cards will combine to open the gate! BART: Key cards? That is the lamest video game BS I've ever heard. Why aren't we doing something cool like collecting multi-coloured shard keys!
That would be totally different and awesome! Let's go give this creator a piece of our minds! I like the theme of fantasy! Now that we're finally away from the kids we can [starts whispering] you and I You're going to ruin this game's T for Teen rating. They start to kiss, when they hear Rod, Todd and Ralph running. ROD: Help! TODD: Someone save us! The three kids run past Homer and Marge, and then a dragon with the heads of Patty and Selma flies down trying to burn the kids.
It coughs and wheezes and then walks off. We've got to save those midgets! You're one sexy milf! There is a very big door with a smaller door on it as well where the group are standing. Homer and Marge kiss. TODD: Thanks for saving us ugly grown ups! Is there anything we can do to repay you? Two would be enough! ROD: The object you seek is through this door, but it is sealed by magic.
Homer walks up to the smaller door and kicks it open. TODD: Actually, we never tried it. Homer looks at the kids angrily and Marge rolls her eyes as they walk through the opened door.
I'm the happiest magic guy in pretend land! Patty and Selma's heads rise from the lava. They go back down. Homer climbs in to a big ashtray full of cigarettes to find the key card. He strokes it. I just don't understand why Bart would want to play this game!
Some mice are walking along a path when a car with cats drives up. The cats stop and start shooting at the mice, and the mice shoot back.
LISA: What is it with cats and mice? Can't they ever get along? LISA: Do you think it will still be fun if you can stomp cat prostitutes and take their money? What's more fun than playing nice? MARGE: Sorry Poochie, but even you aren't extreme enough to resist the power of a stay at home mom with too much time on her hands. LISA: Yeah! We cleaned up the game, and therefore made it more fun! LISA: This is going to be the least violent third person shooter ever!
The senator walks over. We've finally made this video game safe for children. I proclaim an end to video game violence!
A heart on one of the buildings falls on the senator. LISA: Hoo boy. In the senator's hand bag is a key card. Marge picks it up and the pair back away slowly. At this time, Grampa Abe and Mr Burns are much younger, and are also in the army. ABE: Listen up, youngsters!
We have recieved intelligence that the Krauts are due to invade the beloved French township of Ville de Saint Capitulons. Now I don't need to tell you that this town provides the snails that feed the entire French Resistance! If Saint Capitulons falls, the resistance will be so hungry for snails, they'll turn around and fight for the bad guys!
Oh, I've seen it happen before! Now good luck. You boys are my favourite Privates, and you know how much I love my Privates. My Privates mean everything to me. Please God don't let anything happen to my Privates! The town is dormant. Uter is standing near a rock, so he picks it up and throws it at one of the nearby windows.
Uter runs off. The French start to surrender and have white flags coming out of buildings everywhere. Oh my God! We are, how you say, finished! I'm a scared girl! I don't like being bombed and attacked! Homer and Bart laugh, only to be interuppted by Abe. ABE: Hey! Knock it off! We're here to protect these cheese eating surrender monkeys!
That means taking down these white flags before they have a chance to kiss German butt! BURNS: You know, Sarge, while your time travelling son and grandson take down the flags, we could remove the priceless paintings from the village before the Germans can get here. You know, for, safe keeping. ABE: You look and sound so evil. But since you're an American, I know that's not possible. We'll get the paintings, you two take care of the flags.
It's the Civil War, duh. Homer scratches his butt. ABE: Listen up, my beloved Privates, we had a traitor in our midst! Private Burns has nicked all the French paintings, with all of those luscious naked sweater melons! So listen up: Burns has moved the paintings to his own private aircraft carrier, the U. S Reel Crazy! He has the damn thing heavily guarded by his own private cadre of muscular sailors.
These men fight for neither God nor country - they fight for love! I'll be leading a sortie of Hellfish warplanes and we'll be providing heat from the air. You'll need to stow yourselves abpard the ship at dock. Once out to sea, disable the ship's defenses while we attack from above. Homer, you'll be on demolition duty, and you'll have just enough C4 explosives to complete your objectives.
Aw, who am I kidding. You'll never run out of explosives. If you ran out, you'd never finish the damn thing! I don't care! Over and out! It is now time to attack, and the Hellfish warplanes are in full force. A plane tries to hit Burns on a deck high up on the ship, but Burns dives and the plane misses him. The plane U-Turns and heads for Burns again. Abe is piloting the plane.
ABE: Eat deck you treacherous double crossing Nancy boy! The Hellfish truck arrives, and we see 3 French people, 2 smoking, waiting. Homer, Bart and Abe get out of the truck, and the smoking Frenchman hugs and kisses Homer. Homer puffs out 3 rings of smoke.
Your moustache tickles! You hid our cowardice and brought back the pride of our villiage - our paintings. The mayor hands Homer a painting, and on the back is a key card with the Hellfish logo. Everyone cheers. The other kids are doing it! A baby in a buree is swirling wine. You have to get your booze from an older creep hanging around outside the liquor store. They look across the landscape and spot a very dirty village surrounding a massive toilet.
A big figure emerges from the ocean. It's Milhouse who looks kind of like The Prince from the Katamari games. Welcome to the realm of Mr. Isn't it splendid? We know it's you! DIRT: Uhhh Unless you want to be my queen, Lisa! LISA: Uh And I'm the main bad guy of my own video game! Isn't anything good enough for you?! Beat it, loser! Dirt vanishes in a rainbow spiral. Sparkle from the statue in the toilet. Your quest is to defeat the evil Mr. He seek to rid forest and field of Gaion energy.
LISA: Hmmm. And how would you describe this evil CEO's attitude toward "the old ways" and the traditions of your ansestors? Dirt, you must travel to corners of our land and win back Sparklemon! Sparkle rubs against the gate and flies off. In a Final Fantasy like fight, it's Homer and Lisa vs.
Jimbo in a turn based match off. Jimbo has a Sparklemon at his command. Homer runs up to the enemy and punches it. Jimbo's Sparklemon loses 10 HP. LISA: Jazz power. Lisa goes up to the enemy and plays her saxophone. Jimbo's Sparklemon loses 10 HP again.
Jimbo's Sparklemon goes up the the pair and raises his hand, Flaming rats fall from above. Lisa starts to meditate and cold air flows strongly on to the enemy.
Wonderful Magical Animal! Homer summons a ball, throws it in the air and out pops a flying pig. It explodes in to different types of meat, then the meat explodes. Jimbo's Sparklemon faints. Lisa and Homer high 5 each other. Lisa and Homer high 5 each other again. Mr Sparkle appears. Number one American flavour! Dirt appears on a cloud seat in the air. DIRT: Don't get too cocky, warrriors! You may have defeated one Sparklemon, but you will never defeat another! I mean, maybe you will, but it'll probably take a couple o'times!
Ralph in a turn based match off. Ralph has a Sparklemon at his command. Homer punches Ralph's Sparklemon. It loses HP. Lisa strikes Ralph's Sparklemon with lightning. Ralph's Sparklemon walks up to Homer and kicks. Homer loses HP. LISA: Linguo, fix his grammar but good! Lisa does what looks like some yoga moves, coloured lines go everwhere and Linguo drops from the sky. Stranger danger! Sparkle appears. Fun fun for Sparkle Sparkle! DIRT: Don't get cocky warriors! You may have defeated one Sparklemon, but Oh man!
Well, fine. That's it though! For real! Sherri and Terri in a turn based match off. Sherri and Terri have a Sparklemon at their command. Homer walks up to Sherri and Terri's Sparklepmn and punches it. It loses 69 HP. Homer walks up to Sherri and Terri's Sparklemon and burps in it's face. LISA: Linguo, fix his grammer but good! She totally has a crush on you! I'm serious!
DIRT: Oh man! You beat the third one too?! Fine, whatever. I'm gonna go cry in the Temple of the Two Moons, so don't follow me! I mean it! Mr Dirt floats away. You need to insert the Sparklemon in to the coin slots! Would you tell Chuck Yeager how to fly a jet? The pair run on to the toilet. Homer pegs the first Sparklemon in the first hole, Lisa drops the second one in the second hole and Homer slam dunks the third one in to the third hole.
Mr Sparkle then rises from inside the toilet. Sparkuru has risen from his Banishment in the Underworld! Now I must return to my corporation, where I am mascot for celery flavoured soy chip! Sel-Soy kills the hunger demon, but graciously adopts his children! Sel- Soy! But first, I will cleanse the world of Mr. Sparkle rubs himself against Mr. Dirt's realm, cleaning it and making it shiny. Dirt changes back in to regular sized and clothed Milhouse. No way! I saw you picking your nose with it!
LISA: Dad! We need the key to save everyone we know! Just take it! Homer gets the key card and picks his nose with it as he walks off. Take it easy! The Sparklemon start to attack. BART: Video games don't have points anymore!
But how do you know if you're doing good in the game?! LISA: Well, you make progress through the objectives of the game, like here - we collected the four key cards [shows cards].
That's a pretty sucky score! I got eight million on a Centipede machine in a Pizza Hut once, but four? BART: Lives? What do you mean?
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